Another thing I personally found huge was related to how you mentioned experiencing ‘firsts’. What I kept feeling was, “Wow, this is not that big a deal at all. Why did I build kissing/sex/one night stands/having a fuck buddy up to be such a huge thing in my mind?” Way easier to be confident after that.

Jimmy June 3, 2011 at 7:26 pm · Reply Yeah, there’s SOMETHING about experiencing it that makes it different than affirming yourself of something that you haven’t done before. Even though I’ve read from sources stating that your brain can’t differentiate ‘real’ from ‘imagined’ – i.e. why porn sells. Then there’s back to real life, where that disconnect and schism from delusional imaginary-land continues to grow.

I look back, and definitely caught myself chasing experiences than enjoying the experience, if that makes sense. For what? I don’t know, probably insecurities.

Brown and Lewis studied more than 300 college students, 120 of whom were men. The researchers wanted to see if dominance affected opinions about potential partners.


Men preferred the women who were described as their assistants. That was especially true for long-term relationships with higher stakes, such as marriage or dating, compared to a one-time fling or a fitness partner.

Women weren't concerned about dominance. ...

SOURCES: Brown, S. Evolution and Human Behavior, November 2004; vol 25: pp 406-415. News release, University of Michigan.


by Jed on 2004 Dec 17 - 08:15 | reply to this comment A Slightly Different Perspective

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