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husband know that, although I enjoyed having him around, I was perfectly capable of taking care of the family on my own, if need be. Unable to be dominant, I settled for controlling (I am now ashamed to admit).

I finally came to the realization that I was tired of functioning as a man and tired of holding my husband at arm's length. It has really been exhausting all these years, and for him too, I am sure. We are going to be navigating our way in new waters, and it will be an adventure and a relief, but not easy.

But what I've learned from this website and a couple of others is that it is possible to get back to that natural male-female connection, and still be an intelligent and capable part of a team.

The missionary position appeals to many Taken In Hand women for the same reason some other women thoroughly dislike it: because the man-on-top is the male-superior position. That has been deemed by some women to be humiliating subjugation of a woman. Some women want to be on top because that is a less vulnerable position – one from which they can easily escape. In the female-superior position they can also (prima facie) call the shots, dominate, and, in some cases, sublimate their Basic Instinct fantasies in a bit of face-slapping, erotic or not so erotic asphyxiation and other such acts of revenge against masculine power.

The Taken In Hand women has no such inner conflict about the idea of masculine power. Indeed, she is as drawn to it as some women are repulsed by it. And instead of fighting it, she finds it erotic, fun, a source of deep joy and contentment. And yes, for many a Taken In Hand woman, lying on her back, exposed, vulnerable, receptive, trusting him, there for him, accepting him, accepting his authority, accepting his power as a man, accepting his dominance, being pinned under her man's imprisoning weight, unable to escape until he allows it, looking up at him with soft submissive eyes as he enters her in the male-superior position – the missionary position – feels physically and psychologically right. Soothing. Feminine. Woman qua woman, as Ayn Rand might say. It is no coincidence that Nancy Friday called the book in which she sought to prove that women's sexual fantasies are now dominant, Women on Top.

This is not to denigrate other positions or other preferences, merely to explain why some Taken In Hand folk might feel especially delighted by the much-maligned missionary position. (Taken In Hand folk might well love other positions too, but this is just about this particular position. And I certainly do not mean to imply that a Taken In Hand woman would only adopt her preferred positions. No doubt the right man could subject a Taken In Hand woman to any number of positions without any problem!) There may well be other reasons for the appeal of the missionary position, such as more mechanical/physical ones, and perhaps there might be a


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Last-modified: 2022-01-19 (水) 00:41:30 (325d)